


True Happiness

by MissKitty28



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas' deal, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Ficlet, M/M, SPN season 15, The Empty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26318611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissKitty28/pseuds/MissKitty28
Summary: By the time of his deal with the Empty, Cas hadn't realized what real happiness would truly mean for him. (Destiel, end of season 15)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	True Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for giving it a chance! :)
> 
> Note: English isn't my mother tongue. Feel free to let me know if something doesn't work in the wording.
> 
> Disclamer: I own nothing of course, except the content of this story. The characters are not mine.

*** 

Cas hadn’t known.

By the time he had made the deal with the Empty, he hadn’t known what it would truly imply for him. Happiness was a concept he hadn’t completely grasped yet. It wasn’t something he had given much thought to, prior to that moment. Their way of life was too often tainted by apocalypses and endless fightings for him to even question what it would mean.

If happiness there was, it would necessarily be a clouded one.

No, he would never feel true happiness, let alone _let himself feel_ true happiness. He would never give himself that permission. Up to this moment, he hadn’t known how experiencing it would feel, hadn’t known what would be enough for him to be gone in a second.

But when Dean had told him he loved him that day —in a heart-rending moment concluding a difficult day in their battle against Chuck— and slowly had approached his face to kiss him, all the pieces of the puzzle had suddenly assembled and Cas had then realized how wrong he had been all along about what the deal truly meant.

It wasn’t about smiles, good company or momentary enjoyment. It wasn’t about perfect context, perfect life.

It was about _feeling whole_.

Understood.

Loved.

 _I know who you love_ , the Empty had whispered to him when Cas had first woke up in that place.

His lips tenderly joined to Dean’s, their new physical and emotional closeness was everything Cas didn’t know he needed. He actually craved for it, and could definitely say that the feeling was mutual, as they were now lost in each other’s embrace. His heart was pounding fast against his chest, his hands had become sweaty. As a feeling of warmth was spreading in him, he became aware of how much Dean had been the catalyst of his entire journey on Earth. Cas knew he loved the Winchester deeply, knew it was different from how he felt about Jack or about Sam, but he had never took the time to actually try to understand this feeling, what it could mean for him and for them. For a very long time, feelings hadn’t been his strong suit, especially when it came to his own.

But now, things had just clicked. Eyes flooded with tears, he totally embraced the moment. It was what he had wanted, what he had always needed.

When the Empty banged on the door, telling him that time had come for her to collect him, it hadn’t come as a surprise.

He was going to be dragged to nothing.

Because this moment with Dean? It had been perfect.


End file.
